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November 2009

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hopeles_dreamer in 21months

There is no time for a shower. Once it beckons my body and mind, that is it...it is ready and everything is set in precise motion like a ticking clock. I couldn't stray from it if I wanted to...though I have never tried. I don't have the urge to. Why should I stray from a path that marks my whole existence? I haven't found a reason quite yet. Besides, after the work is done, I get the reward of a mortal’s memory and that is irreplaceable. Through them I have felt love, sadness, bliss, and all the emotions that come rare to immortals. I slowly glide out of my uncomfortable bed and through my rented apartment, passed the things that matter not to me.

It had been a little over a week since my last pull and I was getting as anxious as an immortal can get. If I went too long without the push of the higher hand, I tend to get nervous and pace back and forth in whatever place I was at the moment. However, I usually didn’t go over 2 weeks without some sort of job or mission (as I like to call it sometimes).

As I walk outside, I feel the cool breeze tickle my face. I close my eyes as I drift through the night. There is no need for a car. My locations are always near where I’m compelled to stay. I wonder who my next victim will. Is victim the right word? Maybe just marked. They are my prey and I, the hunter. Though that sounds a bit sinister and I am far from that. Or, at least, I like to believe that way. I do like the idea that I am good, in all accounts of the word. My victims fall prey to me in the desirable way. They don’t loose anything. In fact, they gain everything. They attain life...a second chance. What more could you want.

But that stuff isn’t important to me. The only thing I crave in the world is memories. I’m fully aware that every soul I save, I get a reward and that reward is simple…yet perfect. Something, I’ve noticed, mortal’s take for grated. Of course I have a memory but what is there to remember? My life? I am just here to save others. So to feel hate, jealousy, sadness, and my favorite, love, is what helps me not question the force that makes me continue. It is the closest I can be to having a normal life. Even if it isn’t mine.